How do you want to show up as a parent in 2018?

I’m just about to sit down with a cup of coffee and a notepad and do some “visioning” around my heart’s desires for 2018.

I know that I want to connect deeper with my kids as they grow another year older, connect with my husband (who, bless his heart, is doing the dishes from last night’s party as we speak!) and connect with my own inner light.

I’ve use a specific process for my “visioning” time for the past few years, and  and it has TRANSFORMED my life. When I invest just a little bit of time into acknowledging all I’ve become as a parent, and centering myself in how I want to show up in the world in the next year, my relationships are deeper, and my life is richer.

I want that for you, too!

That’s why, for the FIRST TIME EVER, I’m opening up this powerful “visioning” process to EVERYONE in my community.

Together, we’ll tap into the wisdom that you’ve gained over the past year, and we’ll align your “Inner Compass” (what you check in with every time you need to make a judgement call- which is ALL THE TIME when you’re raising kids!!).

Here’s the truth: Only YOU know the year you just had with your kids. Last year’s experiences hold incredible wisdom for you if only you pause and reflect.  This is the time to gather all that we know to me true about our kids, ourselves, our world, and align our “inner compass”, our parenting wisdom, to THIS season in our lives.

As parents, we really measure time by how our children are growing and the stages they pass through; their first year of high school, their last year of living at home, the last “family holiday” when everyone is still living under the same roof.

We often get so focused on our kids’ milestones that we forget to PAUSE and reflect on our own parenting milestones. The first time we watch them drive off on a vehicle alone. The first time they break their curfew and we’re waiting up, sick with worry. Each time we reach one of these milestones, it feels like a stretch, and we’re constantly checking in with our inner compass, our best judgement, all that we know about our teen and the world we live in, to make a wise decision about what’s best for our teen. We know that we need to let our teen become more independent, but we always wonder if they can handle it. It’s the gradual letting go that is so critical for our relationship with our teens, and yet no-one is giving us a pat on the back or a gold start for these silent milestones.

Until now.. It’s time to acknowledge our efforts, our heartache, our restraint when we wanted to hold our kids in our arms to keep them safe. Only YOU know the year you’ve had with your teen.

This is your invitation to join me for an incredible event where you’ll turn this year’s  parenting experiences into WISDOM, it’s called your Inner Compass Alignment.

I’m leading a courageous group of parents who are willing to press PAUSE on the busyness so that you can reflect on the year you’ve had, and set a powerful intention for how you want to parent in 2018.

This is your opportunity to re-calculate, to re-adjust, to re-align with who you are, and how you relate to your teen THIS year.

Join me for this Inner Compass Alignment, and start 2018 strong! Here’s what you’ll discover during the event:

  • Acknowledge all you’ve been and become as a parent this year
  • Access the wisdom you’ve gained from 2017 so you don’t have to re-learn any of those lessons
  • Chart your course for connecting with your teen in a new way!

You’ll walk away from this experience feeling centered, clear, wise, and inspired to connect with your teen!

CLICK HERE to access the full invitation!

I can’t wait to see what 2018 holds for you and your family!

Deanne

P.S. Please share this invitation with your parent friends, or your partner. Together we’re building a community of courageous parents who are leaning into growing with their kids through the messiness of the teen years!

 

It is better to give to that receive…OR IS IT?

When we teach our teens that it’s better to GIVE….then how are they supposed to handle all of what they’re given?
We need to teach our teens how to GIVE and how to RECEIVE.
I’d like to take the wise wisdom of Christine Arylo, who says “It’s better to give AND receive”.
Teens often have a bad reputation of being entitled, self-centered and want-want-wanting!
The truth is, teens (like all people) come in ALL VARIETIES! There are advantages and disadvantages to being a GIVER. There are advantages and disadvantages to being a RECEIVER.
No matter what kind of teen you’re working with…there IS a way to engage with your teen in a positive way, so that they can learn the art of being able to both give and receive in life.
 
GIVERS: Some teens are incredibly passionate about serving others. They are altruistic and compassionate, and they put all of their energy into making the world a better place! These teens volunteer in their community, and they are lit up by the difference they are making! As parents of givers, we encourage and applaud their efforts. They are amazing kids! Sometimes, though, the givers struggle to take care of themselves. They’re so busy taking care of others that they can neglect their own sleep, nutrition, and ability to have fun (which is SO restorative!). Givers often feel guilty for having all they need, and for having a good time. As parents, we need to applaud their self-care efforts; when they are resting, when they are laughing with friends, when they are taking time for renewal, we need to congratulate them for knowing that when they’re whole and healthy, they are better able to jump back in to serving others.
RECEIVERS: Some teens appear so SELF-CENTERED! They’re entitled, and want-want-want. This can be really aggravating because they believe that the entire world (and family budget) should revolve around them and their needs. Sometimes this intense wanting pushes our buttons because the wanting isn’t connected to understanding how to GET what they want. Another reason why our teen’s wanting gets aggravating is because we’ve suffered so much from wanting and NOT receiving, that we’ve given up on our own desires in life. Wanting can be a great indication of clarity in life, and can create a compelling future (think of the kid who wants a car and does EVERYTHING in their power to fund that vision)!
As parents, we can encourage these teens to keep wanting, AND to figure out a plan of how to GET what they want (like getting a job, setting up a savings plan, thinking long-term, etc.).
As parents, we can also help these teens to be grateful for what they have, and think of the needs of others.
Often these teens need an experience of walking in someone else’s shoes, or serving others  (more than just one time) to really understand that it’s important to give when you have so much.
Whether you have giver, receiver, or both, it’s important to recognise that there are gifts in every way of being, and there are opportunities for US as parents to really lean in to those places where our teens “push our buttons” as areas to commit to learning about ourselves and growing in wisdom alongside our teens.

EASY strategies for RESILIENCE that no-one is talking about!

So many parents I’ve talked to are wondering what the BEST approach is to supporting their teens to be able to handle what life throws at them (and, honestly, how to handle the demands of living with the emotional ups and downs of a teen).

There are a number of EASY strategies that NO-ONE is talking about that are PROVEN to develop resilience in teens! (but I’m about the let these incredible SECRETS out!)

I’m wondering,

Is raising a RESILIENT teen one of your goals as a parent?

Is helping your teen to discover their PURPOSE important to you?

Are you always on the lookout for strategies that WORK with teens?

If you said YES to any of these questions, then please keep reading!

Parents today are more stressed, overwhelmed, overworked than ever before (and so are our teens!). Trial and error in parenting can be exhausting! We need EVERY SHORTCUT that we can get!

That’s why I’m so excited to share with you The Top 5 Secrets to Raising Resilient and Purpose-driven Teens

In this 3 part video series, you’ll learn

  • How to help your teen overcome the inevitable difficulties in life
  • The missing ingredient in most goal-setting programs
  • How to help your teen connect with a sense of purpose using the “video game method”
  • How to lower the risk of your teen making BIG mistakes
  • How to stay connected with your teen TODAY so that you’ll be friends when they are an adult

CLICK HERE to grab your seat, and you’ll have INSTANT ACCESS to the first video!

Enjoy!

Deanne

P.S. The KEY to resilience, is in dipping into the resources that are available, and learning what WORKS! Don’t miss out on this opportunity to learn these under-used strategies for raising resilient and purpose-driven teens! CLICK HERE to grab instant access to this video series!

What every teen WANTS this holiday season

Here’s the secret….every teen WANTS the satisfaction of knowing what they want, and then getting it!

In fact, we ALL want over the holidays are good feels! We want the feeling of certainty of knowing what will light us up,  the variety and excitement of something NEW, and the certainty of feeling SATISFIED with what we get!

Here’s  what’s difficult….teens are even more susceptible than adults to the negative emotions that come up during the holiday season:

  • Not knowing what they want
  • Wanting something that they believe they can’t have
  • Wanting something they they KNOW they won’t get
  • Feeling entitled to something and having to settle for something less
  • Being completely dis-satisfied with what they get because it doesn’t meet their expectations

Wanting is hard because it can lead to disappointment and rejection. Sometimes, it’s easier to not want anything. BUT, if we lose touch with what we WANT, then we miss out on the very feeling that can compel us to action. WANTING can be extremely motivating!

Settle in to WANTING something BIG!

Want an extraordinary life!

Want to feel connected to something bigger than yourself!

Want to know how to become your own best friend!

Want to know yourself a bit more deeply!

When we focus on expanding our view from the material wants, and really allow ourselves to set our vision on something greater, then we can follow the clues laying all around us to lead us in the right direction!

Not sure how to expand your view? CLICK HERE to grab a free 30 minute call with me, and we’ll get there together!

 

Wholehearted Parenting

The other day a good friend of mine told me this;

“Deanne, everyone thinks we’re the perfect family and that our teens are so amazing. But the truth is, it is SO hard to raise teenagers!  Just the other night, our oldest son was out driving around the next town in the middle of the night, when he was supposed to be home looking after his younger brother… We’re far from perfect”

Can you relate?

Parenting teens is tough, it always has been, but in today’s fast-paced world driven by IMAGE, we’re constantly comparing how everyone else’s life LOOKS compared to how our life FEELS.

As parents, we’ve worked hard to get an education, a career, a home, a partner, have children…and just when we feel like we’ve figured out how to parent our kids, they go sideways.

They’re driving around town in the middle of the night.

They’re failing a class.

They’re getting fired from their part time job.

They’re totaling the family car with 4 of their friends inside.

Not to mention the terrifying times when we’re worried about their mental health.

When we feel on top of our game in so many aspects of our adult life, it’s hard to be right back in the vulnerable, confusing, overwhelming messiness of figuring out life with a teenager.

That’s why I’ve  been capturing on camera my conversations with parents who are willing to share what parenting in real life looks like (and how it feels). I’ve put these conversations together into an incredible FREE global virtual event, so that YOU know that whatever you’re going through with your teen,

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

We’re creating a global movement of parents who are committed to LEANING IN to the messiness of raising teens, and telling the TRUTH about how that really looks and feels. This event is called,

Wholehearted Parenting: Supporting resilient, confident and purpose-driven teens

I’ve interviewed over 21 thought leaders (many of whom are parents, but not all) to share their very best practices and insights so that you have the inner strength to work through your fears, lead your teen from the HEART, and learn to trust yourself as a parent. 

CLICK HERE FOR FREE ACCESS

Through this interview series you’ll discover

  • How to be responsive to your teen, not reactive
  • How to trust your intuition about how to bestparent your teen (despite what all your friends and family are telling you)
  • How to powerfully connect with your teen even when they’re pushing you away
  • How to see the conflict you have with your teen as an opportunity for growth (theirs AND yours)
  • How to step back so your child can solve their own problems
  • How to reinvent your relationship with your teen as they grow into adults

<<<CLICK HERE>>>  to reserve your FREE all-access pass!

This movement has the capacity to release an entire generation from comparison, isolation, and a fear of failure and give rise to a new generation of parents and teens who are willing to be lead with courage and cultivate resilience, creativity, and purpose.

Wouldn’t it me amazing to be part of a global movement of parents who are committed to leading with the heart?

The huge shift is happening. Let’s inspire wholehearted living by parenting our teens that way.

CLICK HERE  for access to every interview AND more than 20 bonus resources for you and your family!

If you’re ready for a real change, I invite you and any of the parents in your life to join us for Wholehearted Parenting.

With gratitude,
Deanne

P.S. Wouldn’t it be amazing to be part of a global movement that inspires parents to lead with their whole heart? Here’s your opportunity to be part of that inspiration. Would you kindly share this with your friends, your neighbors, and any other parents who you know could benefit from hearing the TRUTH about raising teens today.

 

Her Time 2 Shine!

Meet Madison English, an incredible  22 year old Calgary woman with a BIG VISION!

Madison is the founder of hertime2shine.com where she is creating a community of teen women, right here in my hometown of Calgary, Alberta Canada. Madison knows that teens need a safe place to talk about what is REAL in their lives, with the support and wisdom of their peers and mentors.

Her Time 2 Shine holds space for teenage women to discover their powerful ability to embody a high level of self-worth.

 

I got to sit down with Madison and hear more about her incredible vision. Watch the video to discover:

  • Why Madison is so passionate about creating a community of teen women.
  • What teen women need that they’re not getting anywhere else.
  • A time in Madison’s life when she could have used a community like this?
  • What changes in the lives of  young women when they feel supported.

To find out more about Her Time 2 Shine events in Calgary, visit www.hertime2shine.com

RETREAT into gratitude!

Are you feeling overworked and under-appreciated?

Have you been putting your own needs on the back-burner so that you can take care of EVERYONE ELSE?

Here’s what I know for sure:

There are seasons in our life when we need to take care of others, but when that becomes our default setting, that leads to exhaustion, resentment, and sickness!

Sometimes, we need to take a step back from our default setting, and re-calculate how we’re operating day-to-day.

If you’re willing to open up to GRATITUDE, it’s easy!

That’s why I’m so excited to invite you to join me for a GRATITUDE RETREAT.

Step back from your life for a weekend, and allow me to guide you into GRATITUDE

(It’s my superpower, and it can be your superpower, too!)

With gratitude, you shift out of stress and into your heart. Through gratitude you gain:

  • CLARITY around who you are, and who you’re not
  • CONFIDENCE in your ability to take care of yourself through the stressful times
  • CONNECTION with your own inner spark, AND the people you love

CLICK HERE for the full invitation

With gratitude,

Deanne

P.S. If there’s someone in your life who seems to have lost their spark, please copy and paste this link, and invite them to retreat into gratitude!

Back to School Stress

Are you feeling the fall pressure?

Does your calendar ALREADY look completely packed?

Instead of falling into the old patterns of overwork and overwhelm from years past, take some time to make the bold commitment to

DO THIS YEAR DIFFERENTLY.

I’m challenging you to schedule time in your calendar for DOING NOTHING. Schedule in some time every day (10-20 minutes) and a larger chunk of time each week (1-3 hours) when you don’t have a “to-do” list to accomplish.

This is a time to do only what you WANT to do. Do what you’re inspired to do IN THE MOMENT. Sit down, drink a cup of tea, draw, stretch, lay on your bed and listen to music.

Stick to your commitment of allowing yourself this down time (this is for teens AND parents!)

Here’s why: when we give ourselves time to stop, breathe, decompress, rest, and listen to what we need in the moment, our rested mind and body is able to make clearer decisions the rest of the day (so we actually end up saving time!)

Can I tell you a quick story about doing things differently?

Last weekend I ran a 10 K race. There was a woman ahead of me who would run, then slow down to a walk, then run again. I had used this strategy in my training, but on race day I was committed to running at a strong pace for the entire race. I was SO FRUSTRATED that this woman was actually moving at the same pace as me!

Here’s the lesson: We fool ourselves into feeling like we need to push-push-push all day long to be productive and successful, when in fact, varying our pace allows us to use our energy more efficiently, and gives us some much needed VARIETY in our lives so we don’t get burned out from the push.

Give yourself the gift of taking a break EVERY DAY!

 

You are WORTH IT!

Deanne

Resilient Teen

Let’s face it, teens are amazing explorers and life adventurers, and sometimes that gets them into trouble. The teenage brain thrives on new experiences to grow, and so teens are hardwired to experiment. But some experiments come with high risk, and current brain science is telling us that  teens are not great at assessing risk and anticipating the consequences of their actions.

As adults, we want to both encourage our teen’s adventurous spirit AND protect them from making damaging mistakes. Perhaps more importantly, when our teens inevitably find themselves in a difficult situation, we want them to learn how to work through it, so that they can build their own problem solving skills.

After all, didn’t YOU make some pretty big mistakes as a teen?

We all did.

The difference between our teenage mistakes and the mistakes of this generation, is the added impact of our children’s mistakes being broadcast far and wide on social media, with devastating consequences for both teens and their families. Our digital connections can be an amazing opportunity, and also a heavy burden. Teens also see the glossy, filtered, photo-shopped, perfect snapshot version of other’s lives on social media, and they are comparing how their life FEELS with how everyone else’s life LOOKS.

If you’ve been following me for awhile, you’ll know that I’ve spent 14 years as a High School teacher, and working with teens every day taught me that my students were under incredible stress and pressure to do, and be, and have it all. Under this intense pressure there was no room for failure, so some students took themselves out of the game completely by skipping school. Others attended school but had an attitude of “I don’t care”, “this is stupid”, or “It doesn’t matter”, or suffered silently with their own devastating inner thoughts and tried to be invisible.

Teens are reporting higher rates of anxiety each year, which is not surprising when we hear how teens feel overwhelmed by the amount of information at their disposal, compare themselves to countless others on social media, and feel like everything has already been said and done. All of these pressures ON TOP OF the usual ups and downs of being a teenager requires all of us to think differently about how we support teens today.

I’ve been wondering,

How can we support critical thinkers instead of direction followers?

How can we provide support to teens, while still allowing them to figure things out on their own?

How can we support RESILIENCE in youth?

To answer these questions, I’ve joined with over 21 thought leaders to bring you an online conference dedicated to supporting RESILIENT teens. The interviews are REAL, short, and to the point CONVERSATIONS with teens, parents, entrepreneurs, coaches, and mentors, who share their own story of resilience, and what they’re doing now to make things a little but easier for others to move through their own hardships. CLICK HERE to grab access!

It’s called Resilient Teen: Supporting independence, confidence, and resourcefulness in teens.

It is FREE for you to attend. You can grab access using THIS LINK

This event is FOR TEENS who want to know how to overcome the tough times, and FOR PARENTS who want to understand how to set teens up for success in school AND life.

You can watch each 30 minute video from your laptop or mobile device, so you will have STRATEGIES and INSPIRATION at your fingertips.

Here is what we’re talking about in the video interviews:

  • Developing a positive MINDSET to learn from past mistakes
  • How to walk through TEEN DEPRESSION with renewed purpose
  • How CONNECTING with their school community helps youth develop resilience
  • How teens can THRIVE even when they don’t complete high school
  • The KEY SKILLS of resilience and how to teach them to your teen
  • How PARENTS can be a supportive resource to their teens

CLICK HERE NOW to gain complimentary access to the experts starting on MAY 1, 2017

I’m excited to share these videos with you!

Deanne

P.S. Psychologists are telling us that one key to resilience for teens AND adults is being CONNECTED to a community who can support you through your difficult times.

You are invited to join us in  The Gratitude Lounge Facebook group. During the month of May, the lounge will be buzzing with conversation about the Resilient Teen interviews. Whether you’re a teen, parent, grandparent, teacher, if you’re interested in supporting teens, or learning about resilience, CLICK HERE TO JOIN us on Facebook.